You know how I’m an ADHD coach, right? Well I mean…you know now anyway.
Anywhoozles. I get asked constantly how I feel about the fact that social media is giving ADHD all this attention, and if I think it’s problematic. And the truth is, I don’t. At least, I don’t think that, alone, is problematic. I think we’ve got bigger issues. Namely, that social media is the WORST fucking thing for ADHD.
I’m on a sort of a social media break, where I’m posting sparingly — if at all — for another week. This break was, at first, because I had just finished running a digital summit, and I’d gotten to the point where if I had to talk about it even one more time, I was gonna set the house on fire. Eventually, though, I realized that I was avoiding returning because I felt so much calmer without having to think about social media at all.
And before you’re like “Arianna, everyone feels this way without social media. It’s a great source of stress for everybody.” I’m going to agree, but also disagree. There are five reasons here that social media is specifically fucking terrible for ADHD, especially if you’re a content creator. And believe it or not, it has nothing to do with everything these days being short-ass videos with trending audio.
Reason #1: Your worth is judged by how many people “like” you
Hey, you know what sounds like a really bad idea? Putting people who are still working through personal issues regarding rejection sensitivity and ostracization onto a platform that will randomly decide how important they are according to how many others will give them praise.
“Oh, you’re telling a personal story about your abandonment issues on Instagram? Sorry there, Jane, only two people have commented on it, and one of them was a bot for a porno account, so you were just vulnerable for no reason.”
“Oh, Harold, you finally finished a painting you’ve been working on for months? That’s not a video, is it, now? Hope you like being the only one who’ll know of its existence forever and ever amen.”
Awful hard not to spiral into a self-hating pattern when effort and creativity aren’t used to “define” your worth quite as much as the value others put on you by pressing a “like” button. Which brings me to the next thing…
Reason #2: Hours of work may mean nothing
I love doing things that reward me. Seeing how I have a reward center that needs to be tweaked just for me to be able to do laundry, pretty much everything has to either give me a prize or be really urgent in order for my brain to do it. So imagine how very disinterested I become in social media after things I spend real time on don’t go anywhere.
This isn’t me being whiny; this is a real thing that a lot of creators wonder about. I still remember when I was still active on Twitter, how many time a bunch of us would meet behind the scenes to bitch about how a tweet that we’d workshopped and planned for literal months got no attention, only for something we farted out while drunk to go super-viral. It was funny on a level, but it was also demoralizing. Why try, if it doesn’t make any difference?
Now apply that to an ADHD brain, a mind that needs a really, really good reason to set up a camera, find good lighting, record, and edit for 45 minutes.
Yeah. That ain’t going anywhere.
Reason #3: You have to put up with people, even when you don’t wanna
I’m not saying ALL ADHDers are introverts, but most of us are. This doesn’t mean we hate people, per se, but it does mean that we’re very choosy about who we waste our energy on.
So when TrumpIsGod448 decides to tell me that he hopes I die of a failed Black Lives Matter abortion and I have to waste said energy on either responding, blocking, or deleting his stupidity, I suddenly don’t get why social media is such a great idea.
Reason #4: You HAVE to define yourself by one thing
Every single social media class you attend tells you to make sure that you “use relevant keywords” and “make it easy for people to tell what you do” in 150 characters or less. You’re supposed to be able to tell everyone why they should follow you, why they should give a shit about you, in a matter of sentences, and it better be a simple summation that everyone can scroll by in seconds.
Then, you’re expected to post about that thing, and only that thing, from here on in. Don’t you dare stray, or talk about anything else, because then your audience will be confused, and they “won’t know what to expect.”
Do you know how stupid that feels for a brain that loves to look at and talk about about 9,000 things at once?
Jail. It feels like jail. And it looks like their account taking on a ridiculous number of rebrands every couple of years, because they don’t feel like they’re allowed to talk about whatever the hell they like. You aren’t what you know, or what you like; rather, you are what people can define you as, and that’s suffocating for brains that don’t want to just be one thing.
And finally…
Reason #5: You have to be “consistent”
The most popular advice you get when you make content, by far, is that you “have to be consistent.” This means you have to post anywhere from once a day (Instagram/LinkedIn/Facebook) to multiple times a day (Twitter/TikTok), at the same time, about that one topic you chose. Hellooooo hyperfocus.
For a while, this works. But, as all hyperfocuses do, it’ll drive you to burnout. Then you’ll wind up either nuking your whole account, or you’ll do what I did, which is rebel and refuse to post on a schedule anymore until I feel like doing it. Which doesn’t help your numbers, which takes you right back up there to reason #1.
Since taking my break, I’ve realized that the best answer is to treat social media as a fun thing you do when you feel like it. You won’t wind up with millions of followers, or super famous, but you’ll wind up with people who like you, and you also don’t have to think of yet ANOTHER way to talk about one thing to the latest clip lifted from Dear Evan Hansen.
So I mean…if you take nothing else from this, take that. Also maybe try following me on Instagram or something.
What? I gotta get those numbers up.
